gibbon-arsed ramblings of a hopeless underachiever

Sunday, November 24, 2002


uh huh. So now it deletes the duplicate. Fine then. Screw you, blogger, and your success at making me look a total gommer.

So anyway, this fire brigade business, eh? Reading, as I do, this rather splendid blog didn't exactly fill me with calm. It's bad enough to *suspect* that a bunch of squaddies in a green WWII-era ice cream van with a hose stuck to it would be totally useless at attempting to save you from becoming a human barbecue, but to have first-hand evidence that this is the case.... brrrr.

Um, yeah. Was going to spin off into a thing about how we're attracted to fire because we're still all cavemen (/persons) at heart, but my dinner's cooked. So I won't. Ha! Take THAT, establishment. And so on.

posted by bandhag | 11/24/2002 05:03:00 PM

Saturday, November 23, 2002



Ok, so clearly something went horribly wrong, I'm a moron and I don't know how to fix it (deleted the duplicate entry, but it still shows up...). Let us never speak of it again.

More distraction therapy - I'm supposed to be doing some work at the moment. It's only 2:30 in the afternoon and it just crossed my mind to have a glass of wine, so in an attempt not to get legless before I've done anything productive, I thought I'd come and witter for a while, for a nice break.

Most exciting news of the day - I Frontlined the cat. Now, this is only the second time she's had this done. First time, the vet did it. She just flicked her finger across the fur on the back of kitty's neck (kitty sitting perfectly still and calm, purring), and exposed a lovely inch-long seam of skin on which to drip the stuff. Since kitty has always had collars before, this is the first time I've done the Frontline thang myself. Although she was not exactly clawing my eyes out and screeching like a banshee, kitty was not impressed. This is probably because I kept having to fumble around in her coat, trying to find a bit of skin. I teased and I pushed and I parted and all I could ever get was about 5mm of skin to aim at. In the end, I had to keep doing this in little patches, so that she ended up with a wet mohawk along her neck and the back of her head. Gah. AND she's been trying to lick it - with some success.

When she was a wee kitten, she licked herself just after I'd applied some "PERFECTLY HARMLESS TM" flea stuff, and promptly began foaming at the mouth. A speedy and panicked trip to the vet uncovered the fact that said 'harmless' potion contains, basically, a poison that fucks with the fleas' nervous systems, and that it had done the same to her, on a small scale. Nice. Fortunately, all that happens when they lick at the Frontline is they get a bit drooly because it has alcohol in it. This does not seem to put her off in the slightest. In fact, if I didn't know better, I'd think she was quite enjoying it. She's her owner's cat, alright...

posted by bandhag | 11/23/2002 02:41:00 PM

Friday, November 22, 2002


Ok, well this seems to be taking an age, so perhaps I'll actually write something - crazy, I know, but I like to live life ON THE EDGE, MAAAAN.

Why start a blog now? Why start one at all? Well, partly it has to do with the start of the new Celebrity Big Brother. If I'm not careful, I'll give away another ten days of my life and countless hours of much-needed sleep, watching the psychological circus unfold on E4. I am already showing signs of being dangerously close to having a crush on Mark Owen, and making Sue Perkins the queen of my universe. It is the second night.

And what I'm *meant* to have been doing with my life is being a writer. Mate of mine I've not seen for years was meant to be meeting me for a serious session of liver punishment this evening, but had to cry off because "I've got a last minute job - film review for a magazine". Now, this caused one thought to pass through my head. That thought was "Arse". Not just because my friend was blowing me out (for the second time in a week, I might add - he DAMN well better stick to our next date) but because I thought "That's what I should've been doing with my life by now". Blowing people out because I have to stay in and write real things and stuff what people pay me for and everything. Not working part-time to pay my way through yet another course for a career I'm probably not suited to, and supplementing my life with junk tv, junk food and junk websites.

So, naturally, rather than do anything *really* proactive, I thought I'd write for free on the internet. On this. That no-one will read, ever.

One step at a time, Martin...

posted by bandhag | 11/22/2002 01:26:00 AM


let's try that again...

posted by bandhag | 11/22/2002 01:13:00 AM
eXTReMe Tracker

All material on this site is copyrighted to the author. Reproducing material without the author's express permission is a breach of copyright.