gibbon-arsed ramblings of a hopeless underachiever

Sunday, August 31, 2003


I feel like Samson.

It has occurred to me that during the time I've had my braids in, I've had more male interest than ever before. Not that I've done anything about it, you understand (good, clean, pure Bandhag..... Pffft), but it's been very pleasant. And now I'm taking them out. At the moment, I have a head that's mostly crimped-looking stuff hanging off tiny dreads, and partly braids. I put it in bunches on Friday night and some bloke refused to believe I hadn't spent an age making it look like that.
"No, really, this is just because it's taking so long to take them out. It's a halfway horror"
"Yeah, right."
"..... Ok then, yes, I spent four hours doing it. Thanks". (ok, no, I didn't say that. I laughed "bewitchingly" and mumbled thanks).
Weird. Perhaps I should've said "Oh, thanks for noticing - yes, I carefully constructed this look. Also, I haven't washed it for almost three months. How about you and I go back to your place and comb all the dead bits out? Baby."

And in a few days (or however fucking long it takes to get rid of the last of them), they'll be all gone and I'll be back to au naturel curly brown boring. Will I suddenly become repulsive to malekind? Is an email to the braidy lady in order? Am I that shallow? I regularly read celebrity gossip magazines, so the answer must be "Yeah, probably". Nah, not really. I actually don't take the compliment thing very well, so it'll be nice to have a break from the constant adoration.


*wipes tears from eyes*

Oh deary me.

The more observant among you will note that I'm blethering. Fuck that, Mr Unobservant from Noticenothingville would note that I'm blethering. It's Sunday, I have a lot of work to do that I'm putting off. Humour me. Or go and read someone more interesting instead.

Talking of which, vaguely related to a recent Kitchentable post: I visited some unrelated website selling various novelty/kitsch stuff, and one of the things they were selling was a t-shirt with braille on it (stick with me kids - the link is the whole 'blindness' thing). I thought that was kind of cool. Until I saw that the braille reads "I can see you".

Cruel and crass? Discuss.

posted by bandhag | 8/31/2003 08:00:00 PM

Tuesday, August 26, 2003


My braids took 7 hours to put in. So far, I have spent 20 hours trying to take them out. This represents about two thirds of my head. I have discovered that when the braidy lady "just trimmed a little off the ends" because my hair was longer than the extensions were, she "just trimmed" 6-7 inches. From the very underneath layer of my hair. So that this hair is now to around my collarbone, where the hair on top of it reaches my waist. As you can probably imagine, I am delighted about this and in no way think braiding was the stoopidest thing I've ever done.

Ohhh so tired. I know it's not just me - everyone I know seems to be knackered at the moment. I think our bodies are trying to force us to claw back all those snooze-hours lost when it was too hot to even think about sleeping. And yes yes, we know it's so much hotter in all those hot countries you live in/came from. But that's why we live here - it's cold, it rains, we have something reliable to talk to taxi drivers about, that steers them away from inciting us to strangle them with their seatbelts when they start berating foreigners and single parents. Take that away from us - that one inevitable fact that the weather's always crap, and what do we have?

Oh bollocks. Sorry, got to go to bed. Must try harder.

posted by bandhag | 8/26/2003 10:20:00 PM

Wednesday, August 13, 2003


Ok, so who came here looking for "6 foot tall naked women"?

Oh, the irony...

That is one of the less disturbing things this site gets hits through... Although I do think it's sweet that people are looking for "facking girls". Bless.

posted by bandhag | 8/13/2003 10:48:00 AM

Monday, August 11, 2003


You know how when you log into blogger, there's a little message saying "Remember me?"... Quite apt, really. Do you? Sorry - I've been away, work work working like never before.

I had promised myself I was going to come and write something even vaguely interesting/amusing/whatever today. But then I heard about the death of Matt Davis from Ten Grand. A man of 26, a fantastic musician and, by all accounts, a really lovely human being. And yes, I have lost people close to me - very close. I'm not some "Oh my God, Diana's dead, let's weep for three weeks, dress in black and go on about how even though we never met her and never really liked the royal family much, we feel like we've lost a family member" ghoul. But this makes me sad.

Ten Grand played at my friends' club a couple of months ago. I didn't speak to Matt - didn't speak to any of the band, nearly ended up sharing floor space with them but they ended up not staying in the end. They were/are a great band, and he was fantastic and gorgeous and there was just something about him. I'm not going to bang on about how much he meant to me, or try to pretend I was, like, so close to him, man. It's just a fucking shame, and must be horrendous for his family and friends.

It doesn't just make me sad, it makes me pissed off.

posted by bandhag | 8/11/2003 10:49:00 PM
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