bandhag
gibbon-arsed ramblings of a hopeless underachiever


Sunday, March 13, 2005

A pint of Hooch and some hubba bubba please, barman  

So, one of the things I did during my intermaweb hiatus was get a spinky new haircut. It involves straightness and I'm quite pleased with it. I suspect it might be quite foxy. My sister commented that it "suits my nose" (the kind of thing only a sister could say) and that it makes me look younger.

She's not wrong, it would seem: I got ID'd trying to get into a pub last night.

"Are you 18?" asked the bouncer. "No. I'm 30!" I shrieked. I did think he was winding me up/being sleazy, until he became quite insistent on seeming some ID. I had none. So I showed him my credit card and travel card, said I was only stopping for one drink and pointed out that it was quite unlikely that an underage person would pretend to be 30 if questioned on their age. And I was stood right by the door once I did get in - they weren't asking everyone, he had singled me out.

As you can probably tell, I have completely bypassed any pretence at outrage and have spent all of the waking hours since, telling people and generally being pleased with myself.

Shocking, shallow and vain, I know. But I have to make the most of it. With my lifestyle, I'll be getting mistaken for 50 in a couple of years. Meanwhile, I revel in my jailbait resemblance. Cleanse, tone and moisturise every day for youthful skin, indeed... pfft. My blue arse.

posted by bandhag | 3/13/2005 05:07:00 PM


Saturday, March 12, 2005

Coming home  

Oh dear, sweet internet, how I have missed you.

Tip: if your ISP leaves you without access for weeks, and even after you've changed the modem twice, using the (frankly SHIT) modem they gave you, still with no joy, they still claim that the problem is nothing to do with them and that the only way to fix the problem is to format your hard drive and install THEIR preferred OS - at which point, they absolutely guarantee you will get access back, tell them to shove it firmly up their arses. Connectivity will surely follow the very next day. Almost as though the brainless monkey you've been talking to has suddenly gone "Oh shit, THAT button hasn't been pressed. Oh well, let's do it now. She's bound to have been stupid enough to have followed our advice and fucked up her PC by changing her OS and she'll think that's what fixed it".

Let's shorthand this: My ISP is shit.

But yes, I'm too scared of being cut off again to name and shame them. A loser is me.

Hi again. Let me get some sleep and I'll be right back to burble crap at the intermaweb once more. Hoo. Ray. N'est-ce pas?

posted by bandhag | 3/12/2005 03:47:00 AM
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